Sunday, June 10, 2012

Plugged In

I spend a lot of time reading blogs, following tumblrs, checking in on flipboard, perusing the well-curated style files, fashion must-haves, design trends…pinterest, pocket, cool-hunter…all full of posts titled "must Have" or "Currently Coveting".  Olivia Palermo has lots of advice for me.  But the mountains of shiny things that I simply cannot do with out are starting to feel like a burden I cannot bear.  I search through the blogs to find the best and repost on my Facebook, use so you will think I am cool, how does she find all these cool things? you ask? then repost, giving me a credit, so my coolness spreads to your friends, then their friends, and so on, and so on, and so on…I decided to live a minimalist lifestyle, attempt a zero waste or at least small amount of waste home, but pinterest has become virtual hoarding…my list of saved items on my reading list is over 60 pages long, waiting to be pinned, so that I can share them with my followers, who can repin as proof that I find the greatest stuff.  But how does all this beautiful stuff serve me?  Why on earth do I spend so much time looking at homes and dresses and making lists f things that I will someday wish to own?  Isn't the point to love what you have, and live free from all this crap? I am about to move into a house much larger than the one I occupy now.  In order to fill its many rooms I will need to buy a new bed, and other bedroom furniture, a new sectional sofa, and other living room furniture, and that is just the beginning.  I have created an entire pinboard for this house, with ideas on how to fill it up.  Part of the reason we are moving is so that LIFE can fill us up, instead of us filling up our lives with crap. If I fail to look through my blogs every day, they pile up like the DVR.  It takes hours to go through them all, and most of the time I just click them all as read and move on.  There is that tiny moment in which I fear I am missing something, that some amazing idea will vanish into the "no new Posts" department, but of course if I click over to Pinterest, there it will be, since I follow everyone's Facebook, tumblr, instagram, interest account….

a friend recently visited who had no idea what a meme was, had never seen Texts from Hillary, had not hear of Flipboard, in fact barely used the web…yet she was well dressed, and is, in fact, working as a graphic and interior designer.  She seemed genuinely happy with herself and her surroundings.

the more I do this, the less I like my life.  The more I poke around in other people's houses, other people's closets, the less I have, the less I like that which I do have…and for what.  We covet what we see every day…

It has to stop.  The madness has to stop.  Seceretly I want to abandon it all, Facebook, tumblr, all of it…walk away and live the actual life, not the virtual one…but my fear of separation, of isolation…the thing that was once supposed to help me, has trapped me.  I am obliged to find these great things…to be more than I am, to present an image…for the grand pr machine.

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